Family researchers have identified four styles that parents use to
interact with their children: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive,
and neglectful. Although some families fall between the styles, most
families use one of the following approaches:
Authoritative parents are demanding and responsive, controlling
but not restrictive. This child-centered pattern includes high parental
involvement, interest, and active participation in the child's life;
open communication; trust and acceptance; encouragement of psychological
autonomy; and awareness of where children are, with whom, and what they
are doing.
Authoritarian parents are demanding, but not responsive. They show
little trust toward their children, and their way of engagement is
strictly adult-centered. These parents often fear losing control, and
they discourage open communication.
Permissive parents are responsive, warm, accepting, and child-centered,but non-demanding. They lack parental control.
Neglectful parents are neither responsive nor demanding. They do not
support or encourage their child's self-regulation, and they often fail
to monitor or supervise the child's behavior. They are uninvolved.
Different parenting styles yield different outcomes for children.
Social scientists find that parenting styles affect children's
psychological well-being, their school achievement, and other aspects of
their social and psychological adjustment, including adolescent problem
behaviors such as aggression and drug and alcohol abuse.
The
Authoritative Parenting Style without physical punishment produces the
most positive results and the fewest problems for children in today's
world. Children who have been raised in authoritative homes score higher
on a variety of measures of competence, social development,
self-perceptions, and mental health than those raised in authoritarian,
permissive, or neglectful homes. This is true not only in childhood, but
also during adolescence, as evidenced by higher academic achievement
and psychosocial development, and fewer behavioral problems.
The
authoritative parenting style sends several messages to the child. It
says: We trust you to make good decisions, we are behind you, we will be
there if you need us, you can talk to us about difficult situations, we
will help you as you learn, and we expect you to do your best.
As parents, we should strive to guide our children in age-appropriate
ways. Mistakes are normal, and we need to give the child alternative
ways of learning and handling problems. The bottom line is that an
authoritative style of raising kids leads to competent kids, and is fun
and rewarding for both parents and children.
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