Why Parents Matter

Tuesday night we had our Quarterly Volunteer In-service Meeting here at United Way of Utah County.  Our Welcome Baby volunteers gathered together and we had a wonderful presentation by Lori Thorn, Principal at Polaris High School, an alternative high school for Alpine School District.  As an alternative high school Polaris struggles with graduation rates and attendance.  Most of their students come from low income families, have difficult home lives, hate school and/or are young mothers.  However, despite these challenges Polaris made a major overhaul last year and redesigned the curriculum and changed the focus.  They took into account all of the barriers their students face and tried to remedy them as much as they could.  They created smaller classrooms, shorter class periods, mini terms, incentives, etc. and because of their efforts things have drastically improved.  They went from a 7% graduation rate to a 60% graduation rate in three years.

However, no matter how many improvements the school is making, Lori said the number one thing that contributes to students graduating is parental support.  Parental support!  She was basically shouting it from the roof tops that having parents at home who help their kids with homework, stay on top of their school work, come to parent teacher conferences, and participate in their child’s schooling in any way is the biggest and most positive thing that can effect a student’s success in school.  Not only does it affect their schooling but it affects their futures.  Students with parental support are more confident and can see a future for themselves.  Lori shared how her students that have the support at home excel and are motivated.  But she also shared many storied how students were so close or showed so much potential but because the support wasn't there they gave up or turned away.

So parents remember, the next time you are frustrated that your child doesn't want to do their homework or you feel that you don’t know how much good you are actually doing,  THEY NEED YOU!  Never give up on your kids. Ever!

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To participate as a home visitor volunteer to educate families, or for playgroup curriculum and ideas contact us.

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Guest Blogger: Traveling With Kids

On my search for useful information, I have come across some really great moms who can offer a lot of fantastic advice. Here is our first installment of guest bloggers, featuring my sister, Stephanie Kreger. She is the mom of 2 of the cutest girls alive (I may be biased) and is expecting her 3 child (a boy!) in late November. She and her husband currently live in Findlay, Ohio, and she has some great advice on not only traveling with children, but how to make living far away from your family more doable. Here are some of her tips!

Stephanie:

Having lived across the country from family for the last 5 years, we have picked up a few “tricks of the trade” when it comes to traveling with children. Whether by airplane or car, there are some definite helpful hints we have learned, some the hard way, that make the experience significantly easier and more enjoyable for everyone.

Our top 5 tips for traveling with children:

#1- Thankfully, our kids sleep wonderfully in the car. Because of this, we try to plan much of the road trip to take place while they sleep.  We drive during naptime, and my night-owl husband drives late into the night to make for a much less “eventful” trip.  The opposite has proved to be true for airplane travel, however.  With the excitement of being in an airplane, they rarely fall asleep and then we are left with cranky children in a confined, shared space.  In that case, I think it’s safe to say that the other passengers prefer our children to be well rested.

#2- A few days before our trip, we like to take the kids to our local Dollar Store and give them each $5 to pick out activities for the trip.  Dollar stores are great places for books, puzzles, glow sticks, and coloring books. They know that as soon as we leave the store, they won’t see them again until we are buckled in and on the road and that gives them something to look forward to.  While they may have these things sitting around at home, the novelty of something new and different keeps their attention for much longer and at Dollar Store prices, it’s completely worth it.

#3- For potty trained kids, when we stop to get gas, there is no option but to go potty. For obvious reasons, if they don’t, it makes for a very long trip full of stop after stop.  As my ever so eloquent husband says, “Pee when you can, not when you have to!”

#4- This seems so obvious, but never underestimate the value of a good quality portable DVD player! This has saved us so many times. In addition, an external battery is worth every penny and will give you hours more video time. We usually let each kid pick out a few movies and depending on the movies chosen, headphones. That is, unless you enjoy Disney Princess Sing Alongs!

#5- After getting really tired of digging for dropped crayons, I bought a small suctioning basket, like the one found here:

http://www.amazon.com/Suction-Storage-Basket-Kitchen-Sinks/dp/B00EUE2LC2/ref=sr_1_8?s=home-garden&ie=UTF8&qid=1381973186&sr=1-8&keywords=suction+shower

We put them on the windows next to their seats and it almost completely eliminated the missing crayon searches!  The first time we tried this, however, was during a 17 hour road trip in August.  I didn’t think to take the crayons out of the car when we arrived and were left with a colorfully waxy mess! If you are like me and marathon sprint out of the car as soon as it is parked, colored pencils might be a better route.

When we combine all of these ideas, the trip always goes so much more smoothly and 9 times out of 10 we are all still speaking when it’s over :)

Good luck and safe travels!

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Uplifting Families Parenting Conference

The First Lady of Utah, Jeanette Herbert, is bringing her annual conference to Utah County this month!  The “Uplift Families Parenting Conference” will be held on Saturday, October 26^th at the Utah Valley Convention Center from 5:30 pm – 9:30 pm.  This will be a fantastic evening for those who are single, married, a parent or a grandparent! 

The conference will include international dinner and dessert stations among booths and exhibits, addresses by Governor and First Lady Herbert, inspirational presentations by Richard and Linda Eyre, Chad Lewis, Stephanie Nielsen, Carmen Rasmussen Herbert and other renowned experts on issues that families face.  The cost is $25.00 per couple of $15.00 for a single ticket.  Seating will be limited to 500.  The folks from Deseret Digital Media will be filming the presentations to go on the Uplift Families YouTube channel in 2014, so the attendees will literally become a studio audience.

 Leading up to this conference there will be a an Uplift Families Press Event at the Governor’s Mansion this Thursday October 10^th at 3:00pm. Utah’s First Lady Jeanette Herbert will announce new “Uplift Families” title, mission and vision and talk about the Uplift Families Parenting Conference, upcoming YouTube Channel and new website features.

Don't miss out on this great opportunity to learn valuable parenting information! Click here to purchase your tickets for the conference now!

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Resource Spotlight: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Have you heard of the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention)? If not, now is the time to learn about it. This is our nations health protection agency. 

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"[The] CDC works 24/7 to protect America from health, safety and security threats, both foreign and in the U.S. Whether diseases start at home or abroad, are chronic or acute, curable or preventable, human error or deliberate attack, CDC fights disease and supports communities and citizens to do the same."

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This is my go to source for all health information. I'm personally interested in infectious disease prevention and control and this organization has so much information on this topic along with many other topics. I learned about the CDC when I was studying at BYU. This organization and its website is a trusted and reliable source used by health departments, universities, politicians, hospitals and many other health sources. While exploring their website more, I came to find an awesome section called "Parent Information". Here you can explore topics such as child specific diseases and conditions, safety in the home and community, raising healthy children, milestones and schedules and school health. This is a great resource for your entire family. Feel free to take some time and explore their website by clicking here. 

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Friendship and Social Interaction Among Children

Many adults may not associate babies as being friendly but in fact, peer relationships in infancy are evident in the small interactions babies have with adults and one another. Below is a table of infant behavior, corresponding with an age rage, that shows peer relationships in infancy.  

As a child gets older they will develop attributes and behaviors that appear more "friendly" to us as adults. Things like playing together, missing one another, talking to each other and sharing or giving to another. Developing friendships and peer relationships are important to your child's long term development. There is a difference between peer relationships and friendship though. In peer relationships children come together for common activities but in friendships a child will choose to be with one specific friend outside of these group activities. Friendship offers countless benefits for and children and supports the development of prosocial skills such as cooperation and altruism (selflessness).  

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Children with at least one friend are:

Less likely to fall victim to aggression from peers. 
More likely to be self-confident.
More likely to be accepted by peers and experience less rejection.
More likely to perform better academically in school.

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Here are some ways to help facilitate friendship between children:

1. Provide informal peer opportunities. Planned opportunities include both structured activities and unstructured times. 
2.Pair children together for various activities.
3. Pair a shy child with a younger playmate who is less sophisticated socially. 
4. Help children learn each other's names. 
5. Point out the friendly intentions between peers as they occur. Child often overlook the friendly intentions of others because they are so focused on what they are doing. Point these good intentions out to children when you see them. 
6. Help children recognize how their behavior affects their ability to make friends. Often children are unaware of how their behavior is being interpreted by another child. Help them to understand why a child may react to them the way they do. 

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What is the True Purpose of Time Out and When is it Appropriate to Use?

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Time Out. A phrase you hear in a sporting event, something shouted when the clock has elapsed its allotted amount of time and a consequence for bad behavior for a child. Regardless of the way its used, time out means to stop or take a break. People seem to have mixed feelings about putting children in time out. It is recommended that time-outs be used for two specific kinds of problem behaviors: temper tantrums and habitual antisocial behaviors. 

If you've ever watched super nanny you know that she enforces the use of a time out chair or space when children misbehave with temper tantrums or habitual antisocial behaviors. After implementing the time out, following through with it, being consistent and talking with the child once they are calm, super nanny always tells parents to follow with love. 

Kicking, screaming, crying, flailing arms; we've all seen and probably had a tantrum of our own. One thing to remember about temper tantrums is that these tantrums are such an intense emotional and physical roller coaster in which children no longer have their normal thought process available to them. They can not hear or respond to adult directions, cannot think out a logical appropriate sequence of actions and can no longer gauge the effect of their behavior. I'm sure you are all aware of these attributes during a temper tantrum and this is why a time out is beneficial at this time. If a toddler is having a temper tantrum the best thing to do is ignore the outrageous behavior and let them quite down in their own way because their tantrums are usually short lived. They CAN regain control on their own and this is a learning time for them. For older children, whose tantrums may be more drawn out, time out is an appropriate consequence to consider. This is a time to remove them from the situation, to take a break so they can regain their normal thought process again.

Habitual antisocial behaviors is another area to consider using time outs. Habitual behaviors are things like biting, kicking and hitting. All children will do one, if not all of these many many times while they are young. The problem occurs when these behaviors become a habit or a way of getting attention. When these habitual behaviors start the parent must work at stopping the problem as well as interrupting the pattern of positive reinforcement that has allowed it to continue. Time out is a way to help do this. Once again, it removes the child from the situation so that a normal thought process can be taught and gained again.

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Here are some things to remember about time outs:

• Time out should last about 1-2 minutes for preschoolers and 5 minutes or so for older children. 
• Time out means time away from the mainstream of group activity.
• It is not appropriate to use time out to humiliate a child or as a threat. Threats undermine trust between adults and children. Time out is effective when is is treated as a coping mechanism, not as a form of punishment. 
• Time out does not need to last longer than the time it takes for the child to calm down. Becoming calm is the goal. Once its reached, you can talk with and explain to the child why they were put in time out. 

Source: Guiding Children's Social Development & Learning by Kostelink, Whiren, Soderman and Gregory

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Resource Spotlight: Baby Centers Baby Cost Calculator

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As I was paying my bills, balancing my checkbook and planning my budget for the next month I started to think to myself "I'm way too expensive, how could I cost so much? I'm just one person". I then started to think about how my finances and bank account would look once I have a baby. "Two people, double the cost?" I'm a planner; I like to know what I'm getting myself into before I do something so I searched for average costs for baby care and items. I found the Baby Cost Calculator on the Baby Center website. It allows you to decided if you'll need daycare, how many diapers on average you'll go through, what supplies you'll need like strollers, bouncers and toys. After you select the items you plan to get the total calculates at the bottom of the screen. It's a pretty neat tool that's worth checking out. It's obviously an average but it should give you a good ball park on what you'll need to save for your baby. I went through the list and checked things as if I were going to have a baby. I noted that I wouldn't do daycare, I would breast feed and I checked all of the supplies that I would want for my baby. My estimate came to $7,138 for the first year of the babies life. If I choose to do daycare the price went up to $11,746. Check out this free resource and plan for your future. These costs do not include medical care. 

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Attachment Between Baby and Parent

Attachment is the emotional connection children form with their parents or primary caregiver. This is different from bonding, a term we use often when referring to connecting with an infant. Bonding is the feelings of a parent or caregiver toward a child. Both of these are important but this post is focused on attachment.

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You want your baby to be attached to you, you want them to come to you for help, hugs and comfort. At the same time you want them to be comfortable with others such as babysitters, friends and family. You want them to be ok on their own and form independence as well. You want them to feel securely attached but not over-dependent on you. Building healthy secure attachments early on will have long-lasting positive effects on your child.

"A key concept in [the] attachment theory is that a child's dependence ultimately leads to independence. In other words, it's only when children feel they can count on their parents to be available, and when they consistently find the world to be a safe and approachable place, that they develop the confidence to fully explore and play on their own." -early moments matter

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How do you help your child develop secure healthy attachments?

The best thing to do is to respond to their cues. Cues are the body language and signals your baby/child uses to communicate. The response of the parent to a child's cues will determine whether the child develops insecure or secure attachments. Ignoring, rejecting or inconsistently reacting to them will have lasting damaging effects. Reacting sensitively, reassuringly and consistently will have positive outcomes. Even when a child doesn't understand the words you are using they can sense your tone. Reassure your child that you get what they are feeling. You understand that certain things are hard for young kids, you've been there before. Keep your tone in check to keep their attachment to you secure. 

Here are the long-term benefits of creating a secure attachment early on:

Your child will

• Be more motivated to learn
• Do better in school
• Have more confidence and sense of self-worth

  

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• Develop good problem-solving skills
• Form healthier relationships
• Become more self-reliant
• Cope with stress and manage frustration well

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Discipline

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Last week we had our Aspire Parent group discussion where we talked about discipline.                                                                      

We had 20 parents come with their children to discuss this topic. The questions asked were: "What do you do when you have two different parenting styles between you and your spouse/caregiver? What suggestions do you have for other parents regarding discipline?"  I'll list what our parents discussed and then provide some research on discipline from Dr. Brazelton. 

Tips/Ideas from our parents:

• Find common ground between each other first. 
• Recognize that you both want to do whats best for the child, you have their best interest. 
• Communicate with spouse/caregiver often.
• Establish rules ahead of time. Determine the consequences for specific actions and let your children know what those consequences are. 
• Keep the rules simple.
• Make sure to establish rules at different places, i.e. grandparents homes, school, friends homes and your home. 
• Redirect younger children (those who have't reached a disciplinary age) to other good activities when they act out. 
• One parent has twins, when her daughters are fighting over the same toy she puts the toy on time out. She removes the fighting agent from the equation. 
• Overall, be consistent. Children need consistency in order to follow rules. They need to know you are serious. 

Discipline means "Teaching"

Positive discipline guidelines from Dr. Brazelton:

• Fit the discipline to the child's state of development. For infants and toddlers, try first to divert her to another activity, you may need to remove her bodily. For a child over two years, discipline should always include explanation. Try to figure out what triggered the child's aggressive behavior and give them a chance to understand themselves. 
• When your child is with other children, try not to hover. See if they can learn from eachother. When you add yourself to the equation the situation changes from a simple one to a complicated one where half of your childs behavior is aimed at you. 
• Model behaviors for your child. They will watch and learn. 
• After the discipline is over, help them explain what its all about. 
• Use a time-out, but only for a brief period. 
• Pick the child up to love them afterward. This is hard to do, but critical. Hug them and rock them, let them know you love them and that you understand that it's hard to learn self-control. Say, "I love you, but I can't let you behave this way. When you learn to stop yourself, I won't have to anymore."

Discipline

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Helping Children Understand Loss and Grief

"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new." - Steve Jobs


Death is a part of life; its a reality that everyone has to face. Although loosing a loved one is a natural part of life, the flood of emotions and instability that accompany a person after a loss can run deep, even if a loss is expected. For children this is a hard concept to grasp. They will most likely feel fear  and sadness about loosing someone but its hard for them to connect all of the dots associated with such a traumatic event. They may not be able to wrap their minds around the true meaning of death. If a loved one that has passed was close to your child, they were probably close to you as well which means while your child is grieving so are you. You may feel that its hard to talk about loss and grief with your child because of your own instability or fear that your child will not understand. You may avoid talking about it or you may feel like distancing yourself from the situation. These are natural tendencies but the best way to help you and your child understand grief and loss is by being open about death, expressing your feelings and keeping your child close. 

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Dr. Brazelton in his book Touchpoints says, "Children know all to well when a parent is depressed or is in a crisis. Attempts to hide the event or the feelings it engenders amount to a desertion for the child...it is better for a child to learn about a death from her own grieving parents than it is to experience a parent's withdrawal without having been given a reason for it...If parents withdraw without sharing the experience they are having, it is confirmation of the child's worst fears: Grandma has died. Now mother is so sad that maybe she will die too." 

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Depending on the child's age, the level of understanding will differ. It's important to tailor explanations about loss and grief to your child's age but realize there will be concepts that are difficult to understand regardless of the childs age. Dr. Brazeton suggests these responses to some of the questions children might ask:

"Grandpa was getting so old that he wasn't able to do all the things he wanted to do. When you get old, you get pretty tired. Now he can rest."

"None of us know why someone we love has to die and go away. The body just gives out. We all feel terribly sad and lonely. We hate to give them up but what I plan to do is remember all I can about them. I'd like to talk about all the things we can remember about them, so we can keemp them with us that way. Can you remember somethings about them to tell me now?"

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IS MY CHILD GETTING THE NUTRIENTS THEY NEED?

Picky Eaters

Vitamins and minerals are crucial to the development of a body. Although there is high importance in obtaining vitamins and minerals, the actual amount of each vitamin and mineral needed is relatively small. Because of this we can usually get the adequate amount from a regular diet. This is easier for middle aged children, some teens and adults (since we know the importance of it and like a larger variety of foods) but sometimes this can be difficult for young children. Why? Babies naturally develop sweet taste buds in the womb and this continues after birth. Their pallet is influenced by what mom eats since those aromas and flavors are passed on during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. It's important to introduce a variety of foods during pregnancy, breastfeeding and early on in a child's life to help your child become an open-minded eater. It's also important to introduce new foods several times. Don't give up after just a few tries. 

But what if your child isn't an open-minded eater? 

Because of this pull towards sweets, children may shy away from bitter foods and some may become very picky eaters. They may also go through phases where they only eat a certain food or food group. For example, my niece was a very picky eater around the age of 18 months. She went through a phase where she ate Easy Mac every day. Its all she wanted and its really all she did eat. My sister worried that she wasn't getting the adequate nutrition she needed. I think many parents worry about this same thing. Many kids go through a phase like this but when it comes down to it the phase won't last long and there really won't be any long term negative affects. A child knows when they are hungry, they won't starve themselves and they want to be in control of their diet. Giving them a choice between 2 healthy options is a good way to engage your child in eating instead of asking them what they want. The options there are endless and they will always choose something sweeter or unhealthy. Despite all of the tips and tricks to ensure good nutrition some parents may still feel concern for their child's long term nutrition. If that's the case its important to talk to your pediatrician. They may recommend giving your child a supplement to ensure his or her development. There are chew-able vitamins available and other drink supplements that your kids will like that can give them adequate nutrients and give you peace of mind. 

Click here for info on vitamins and supplements for kids

Here are some facts about vitamins and which foods you can find them in. 

Vitamin A promotes normal growth, healthy skin, and tissue repair, and aids in night and color vision. Rich sources include yellow vegetables, and dairy products.

The B vitamins promote red blood cell formation and assist in a variety of metabolic activities. They are found in meat, poultry, fish, soybeans, milk, eggs, whole grains, and enriched breads and cereals.

Vitamin C strengthens connective tissue, muscles, and skin, hastens the healing of wounds and bones, and increases resistance to infection. Vitamin C is found in citrus fruits, strawberries, tomatoes, potatoes, Brussels sprouts, spinach, and broccoli.

Vitamin D promotes tooth and bone formation and regulates the absorp­tion of minerals like calcium. Sources include fortified dairy products, fish oils, fortified margarine, and egg yolks. Sunlight also contributes to dietary sources of vitamin D, stimulating the conversion of a naturally occurring compound in the skin to an active form of the vitamin.

The What to Expect website has a great article called "Toddler Eating Habits: A Few Golden Rules" This is a great resource to encourage healthy eating habits in your children. 

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Resource Spotlight: Aspire Parent's Group and Ready to Learn Class

Each month the Welcome Baby and Help Me Grow programs of United Way of Utah County assist with the Aspire Parent's Group discussion at the Utah County Health Department. This group is a place where parents can discuss questions and concerns about parenting to help each-other but it also provides a social connection for parents and their children . This group meets every third Wednesday of each month from 11:15 AM to 11:55 AM. Pizza is provided and the group discussion is lead by Janae Moss; a local mother of 7, business owner and parent champion of the Help Me Grow program.

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Right after the Aspire Parent Group discussion there is a Ready to Learn literacy and parenting class taught by Stephanie Anderson, the Welcome Baby Coordinator. The class is from noon until 1 PM and a free book is given to each family that attends this class. The purpose is to help parents better prepare their children for school and successful learning.

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If you are interested in joining either of these free parenting groups or classes email us at baby1@unitedwayuc.org 

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Calming Your Baby Can be Tough but Remember to Calm YOURSELF too. Facts on Shaken Baby Syndrome

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We all know babies cry, its natural but it can put us all a little on the edge at times. Sometimes we may feel distraught because the crying last for long periods of time and we can't seem to calm the baby. A screaming baby can add to the stress a new parent, caregiver or babysitter already feels. The crying...the late-night feedings...the constant changing of diapers...the resulting exhaustion...add this to the outside stresses of work, social or financial struggles and this all can lead to a very serious problem known as Shaken Baby Syndrome (SBS).

This is a very real and serious problem that every parent should be aware of. Here are some facts presented by the CDC on this issue. 

Babies less than 1 year of age (with the highest risk period at 2 to 4 months) are at greatest risk for SBS because they cry longer and more frequently, and are easier to shake than older and larger children.

 SBS is the result of violent shaking that leads to a brain injury, which is much like an adult may sustain in repeated car crashes. It is child abuse, not play. This is why claims by perpetrators that the highly traumatic internal injuries that characterize SBS resulted from merely “playing with the baby” are false. While jogging an infant on your knee or tossing him or her in the air can be very risky, the injuries that result from SBS are not caused by these types of activities.

Parents and their partners account for 

the majority of perpetrators. Biological 

fathers, stepfathers, and mothers’ 

boyfriends are responsible for the 

majority of cases, followed by mothers.

The results of Shaking a young infant can be detrimental and even life threatening. 

SBS can potentially result in the following consequences: 

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■ Death 

■ Blindness 

■ Mental retardation or developmental 

delays (any significant lags in a child’s 

physical, cognitive, behavioral, emotional, 

or social development, in comparison 

with norms)7 

 and learning disabilities 

■ Cerebral palsy 

■ Severe motor dysfunction (muscle 

weakness or paralysis)

■ Spasticity (a condition in which certain 

muscles are continuously contracted—

this contraction causes stiffness or 

tightness of the muscles and may 

interfere with movement, speech, and 

manner of walking)8

■ Seizures

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Recommendations and Prevention

The first thing to remember is that infants cry a lot, especially during the first few months. Another important thing to remember is that you are not a bad parent just because you can't sooth your baby. It's not your fault they are crying and neither is it theirs really, its natural. Because it's normal for a baby to cry more often in the first 4 months of life it may help to think of this period as the PURPLE cry period. 

Peak Pattern: Crying peaks around 2 

months, then decreases. 

Unpredictable: Crying for long periods can 

come and go for no reason. 

Resistant to Soothing: The baby may keep 

crying for long periods. 

Pain-like Look on Face. 

Long Bouts of Crying: Crying can go on 

for hours. 

Evening Crying: Baby cries more in the 

afternoon and evening. 

For more information about the Period 

of PURPLE Crying® and NCBS, visit: 

www.dontshake.org. 

Lastly it's important to know the signs of frustrations to prevent SBS. If you feel you are getting to the point where your limits have been met, place the baby in their crib or another safe area on their back. Ensure they are safe and walk away for 5-10 minutes at a time. Call a close friend, neighbor or relative for help to calm yourself and try to remember the PURPLE cry period. 

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Parent Advice from United Way's, Robin Lindsay!

Pretentious, evidence-based parenting advice from our very own: Robin Lindsay, family nurse practitioner and Help Me Grow child development coordinator.

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Regaining Control. When your child is losing control, first you must contain yourself and don't add to the to your child's frustration. Hugging and containing techniques are great tools to collect and calm. Your child will know you will hold her till she is calm. Once, the tension has weakened this is a good time to talk about what happened.

Interrupting Children. Children are easily absorbed into a task they are doing and do not like being interrupted. For an easier transition to change focus, give your child a verbal warning, for example "In five minutes breakfast will be over and we will brush our teeth. Now is the time to finish what you are eating." Repetition is important so the child can process the information.

Dealing with Frustration. "Frustration is a healthy force for learning as long as the child's given opportunities to master the frustration." When your child is learning new tasks be patient, it may take time. If she becomes overly frustrated or asks for your assistance, step in. If she does finish the task alone, she will feel empowerment which leads to confidence in conquering other tasks.

Avoiding unnecessary refusals. It's better to use yes over no to your child's requests. Try to avoid using no give them an explanation or choice, for example "I can't go outside with you right now. If you will read or do blocks we can go out in half an hour."

Extending Play. This is a great technique to build your child's problem solving skills. It's important to ask questions about what she's doing, and asking her to describe how she'll use it or what it is called, etc. This stretches development for learning math and reading skills.

Decisions Making Skills. Give your child the choice. Offer many different options for them to choose from. As she gets older and understands you better talk about their choice and if she may choose differently the next time.

Discipline, is meant to be teaching and shouldn't involve punishment. It is to encourage a child to develop self discipline. Discipline requires patience and respect for the child, age appropriate activities, firm limits and rules with consistent follow through, and belief that child and parent both will get better at it.

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Basics and Benefits of Infant Massage

Touch is the first form of communication that a baby expresses. Naturally, your infant will feel loved, safe and secure when you touch her back. Infant Massage is a great opportunity to demonstrate love to your sweet baby. 

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IM benefits for your baby:

1. Infant-Parent bonding opportunity
2. Great relaxation technique
3. Baby feels loved through touch, eye contact, voice and body language
4. Prepares and promotes for better sleep
5. Sensory stimulation occurs
6. Skin condition improvement
7. Blood circulation improvement
8. Promotes better digestion
9. Promotes balanced respiration
10. Provides relief for teething pains
11. Assists in regular waste elimination
12. Helps build baby's self-esteem
13. Stimulates production of the hormone oxytocin which helps calm, relax and relief any pain your baby may be experiencing.

Before the Massage

Be sensitive to your baby's moods and it's better to choose a time when they're not too tired or hungry. A good option is after a bath or 30 minutes before bedtime. If your baby's needs are unmet they will not relax and respond to you.

Create a warm, safe, soft environment free from distractions. Warmth is important because infants loose body heat easily. 

During the Massage

Be Flexible - It is an interactive communication that flows between you and your baby. 

Eye contact - Offering eye contact allows to deepen your connection with your baby. 

Voice - Talk and sing to her during the massage. Music may add quality to your time together. 

Touch Relaxation - It is a valuable skill to help reduce stress and increase your child's feeling of well-being. 

Infant Cues - Your baby will cue what they need and want. Listen and be willing to respond properly to their cues.

What You Will Need

• Oi l- Use a small amount to allow your hands to move freely as you massage. Unscented, cold-pressed fruit or vegetable oil is recommended.
• Towel or quilt - for the baby to lay on.
• Pillow - This provides a security. The support of the pillow helps reduce reflexive tendency to startle.
• Protective cloth to put under your baby.
• Change of clothes to dress your baby into afterwards.  

 

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