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Monday, October 21, 2013

No More Biting!

One of the biggest challenges that face parents is biting.  Because two young children are involved (and the mix of different family members) the impact can be a struggle.  As a daycare provider and a mother I was faced with issue of what to do.  Whether your child is the biter or on the receiving end your attitude can make a difference of how children react.  

It is important to remember to NEVER bite the child back to show how much it hurts.  This will reinforce biting not stop the behavior; modeling unacceptable actions is not a good way or prevention. 
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For the child that is biting try and see when the biting occurs, is the child teething so biting can feel good on his/her gums, is the child angry, tired, or even hungry?  Sometimes recognizing why the child is biting gives you options of what to do.  
If the child is teething, providing teething toys can help.  
Give options to a child such as you can bite this chew toy but not Joe.  
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One quote that has helped me is “Come and early and stay late” with a child that is biting.  Staying close by to help stop the biting may be necessary as the child learns new ways to deal with their feelings.  One of my darling grandchildren started biting when he was playing with friends and family members.  His parents were embarrassed and struggling with how to get him to stop biting everyone in sight.  He had a big smile on his face and seemed to think biting was fun for everyone involved.  One night at a restaurant he and a new “friend” had been running around an empty room laughing and having great time.  Both sets of parents told the boys it was time to go; Christian, my grandson, ran with his mouth wide open ready to bite his new friend.  Luckily both grandmas were close by to prevent the injury.  My daughter in law was at her wits end of what to do.  Later that night she was wrestling with Christian when the fun was about over I noticed she gave him a couple of lite nibbles as a form of affection.  Christian had been giving his bites out the same way just much harder.  We explained the Christian that he had superpower bites that made people cry instead of making them happy.  Christian’s mom made a conscious effort to start kissing instead of the nibbling; also she gave Christian some other options such as high fives or hand bumps.  

Most children do grow out of biting, but if not those children may continue to become more aggressive.  It is important to look at the cause and then see what solutions will work.  Also remember my favorite phrase to “come early and stay late”.  


7 comments:

  1. Biting can be a real challenge to overcome. But when it happens show the kids your are sad and it hurts.
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