There is often a lot of pressure for children to learn to read, write or learn to play an instrument. Sometimes they feed off of the praise others give them for their success rather than their own feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment. This can actually be harmful to your child's learning and self-esteem. Praise is good but too much praise can become pressure instead of reassurance. Giving small and gentle amounts of praise is good when your child succeeds. Dr. Carol Dweck, a researcher in the field of achievement and success, suggests praising your child for their hard work instead of labeling them as "smart" or "talented". For example, "I can tell you worked so hard on those math problems!" Instead of "Look how smart you are!". This will help your child realize that it's the hard work and determination that really matters. Encouraging them to continue forward is also good but avoid shaping his problem for him or pressuring him to be the best of all; focus on his best. Praise is also great after a child fails and then tries again! This may be hard to watch but let your child fail. Failure with new explorations of success are good for your child. Don't jump in the moment you see struggle. Allow your child room to find ways to accomplish the goal or task he has set out to do.
In Dr. T. Berry Brazelton's book touchpoints: Your Child's Emotional and Behavior Development he says, "Never forget the enormous power of frustration to fuel a small child as he searches for mastery and a sense of his own competence."
|From Frustration to success and accomplishment|